Monday, April 13, 2009

Deja Vu...

...but not the kind I like. I am back from a couple of chaotic weeks and the return to normal life is quite comforting.

A year ago, Brian and I came home from Cancun to find out that my Grandma (my Dad's Mom) had become sick and although initially we thought it was something she would recover from, it was dire enough that we were told we should head to the hospital when we landed. Within a week of being home she passed away. This was devastating for all of us as it was so unexpected, this Saturday it will have been 1 year.

So when I got on the plane to come home from Cancun a week ago and made a call home before takeoff to see how the boys were doing, I was crushed to hear that my Grandpa was not doing well. I waited until we were in flight and went up to First Class where my parents were to let my Mom know what little I knew and that it sounded serious. I went back to my seat and just sat that there in awe that we could possibly be going through the same motions as last year. We landed, my Mom called her Sister to find out what his status was and made the decision that she needed to get to his house as soon as possible. My Mom's other sister arrived a few hours later and would join them shortly. I was told that I could wait until morning that things would be fine until then. I went to bed that night second guessing that I should have gone to see him, my thoughts were confirmed when I received a call at 6:30AM on Monday that my Grandpa had passed away 15 minutes earlier.

I was sad, I was mad, and in an instant the relaxed and refreshed feeling of being on vacation less than 24 hours earlier was gone. The rest of last week went as most do after someone passes, we cried, we put pictures together, family gathered, we laughed, we became stressed, we told stories, we said good bye and then we partied. Wait....doesn't every family have a good party when someone dies? Well, my family does because well that is what we do best, celebrate life and the life of someone we love.

My Grandpa was a complex man to say the least, he saw things from a point of view much different than I. I always knew he had a love for the outdoors, hunting, fishing, anything that would place him near a lake or woods. What I didn't know was the deep love that he had for his family. Not that I didn't think he loved his Children, Grandchildren or Great was just not something I heard him speak about. But I couldn't help but notice how many people at his funeral stated how much he expressed to them the immense love he had for his family above all. I would be lying if I didn't say this took me by surprise. Again, I don't say this as a negative thing, I guess maybe I viewed his love as more understated, but it does feel good to know that we were such an important part of his life. He will be missed by many and I personally will miss my many lunches with him where I would get him up to speed on the latest and greatest stories of Ross and Jack.

So tonight I am in Indy trying to get caught up with work, caught up with life, and trying to remember what life was like before the chaos ensued. I miss my boys already and am counting down the hours till I see them again.

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