Where to Begin?

Wow...I have really been quite the slacker lately...funny how not a day goes by that I don't think about posting something...anything really. So...I am going to start "small" and attempt to build from here...cause even though it seems like I have given up on the world of blogging...I haven't. It's more like the pendulum of time has thrown me completely off and I am fighting like hell to get back up.

I used to think my life, our life, was crazy busy...I couldn't have been more wrong, life as we know it now is UNFREAKINBELIVIBLY CRAZY.

Don't get me wrong our life is good, real good as I have said before, but the balance...that thing that I strive to find EVERY SINGLE DAY is a little off...nope make that completely off it's axis.

The boys both started school this year, Ross venturing off into Kindergarten & Jack starting his first year of Preschool. The good news here is that they LOVE it, seriously love themselves some school. Which is comforting and of course a little sad knowing that they truly are growing up and doing things without Mom & Dad's help and I of course have been playing over and over in my head "how did the last 5 1/2 years fly by so quickly?" Take a peek for yourself...

The Big Boy...
The Little Boy

My Boys...
So school has been a great thing, Ross loves his teacher and she is great despite the fact that I think she was born when I graduated from HS...ok, not really but either she is aging amazingly or...I am getting...gasp...older? Jack of course fell in love with his teacher from the get go because he actually has Ross's first Preschool teacher...Ms Mary. Let it be known that I warned Ms Mary that Jack is not Ross...not just the "he's the little brother...blah...blah" more the "he is much more 'spirited' than Ross"...which really equates to...he's a wild man, what is your liquor preference? However despite our fears that Jack would terrorize Ms Mary and wish she had retired sooner, he has done fabulous and is well behaved and BONUS has not peed his pants in school. We had little doubt that Ross would adjust to Kindergarten superbly, but of course being the shy, perfectionist, old soul that he is it can take awhile for him to get "comfortable" in new surroundings. But again, he has done wonderful and lovin' every minute...well with the exception of us asking him everyday "what did you do at school" which is usually answered with "I don't remember...I played." Huh...interesting.

So let's see we've got school, then we started swimming and soccer. Phew! Throw in the Mr having back issues which ultimately landed him with a diagnosis of a herniated disc...well that's when things really started cooking around here (although softball was no longer a scheduling issue as bad back=no softball for the rest of the year...woo hoo).

Then shortly after the start of our marathon fall my work got busy...nope busy doesn't do it justice...INSANE...the kind of insane non stop work that ultimately wore me down and had my heart beating so fast that my chest started to tighten, breathing became difficult, and a momentary nervous breakdown ensued. Which oddly enough I take meds to curb anxiety (I know, surprise!) , so you know it's bad when even the "happy pills" can't fend these feelings off.

The "busyness" is great for business, we are now half way back to where we were a year ago, which probably sounds meager at that, but trust me when I say we have made leaps and bounds. But with this has come ridiculous work hours, day, night, weekend it doesn't matter. I am at the mercy of "The Client" and I hate that. They essentially own my ass and I have no choice but to grin and bear it till it's all over. I am however doing my best to avoid the "flight mode" and am now preparing myself to "fight" knowing that if I focus on just getting the job done, that one day (god willing by December) it will be over...or at least slower.

I have cancelled both work trips and personal trips because of the work load (2 vacations to be exact). Thank god the Mr is incredibly understanding (yes I know, as a person he is much better than I...nothing new there) and is more than accommodating with my job. Good news for him is that mid-October we will be in NYC together, kid free, just he and I...and well the rest is for us to know and you to not. :)

The positive side is I have only had a couple overnight trips one being tomorrow (and no I am not packed or ready to go whatsoever and it's 11PM...) which has kept me home more, but with the amount of hours I am working I might has well be in another state. The one thing I can say is that I am perfecting the "quality" of time with my family versus the "quantity" and am consistently trying to balance that damn pendulum one day at a time (Grandma if you are reading this...if you lived with us life would be much more even keel...I'm just sayin).

So again as I have signed off before, I will attempt to keep this little life journal of mine up to date and a little more light hearted, cause I am not much of a fan of drama mama as I am of Vino mama...until next time.

You thought I left didn't you?

I know you're all probably falling over that I am finally posting something...or maybe you aren't even there because you gave up on me about a month ago...(please be the first). Well I am here and life is still strolling along at a rapid pace. Actually life is good, really good...we are all happy, healthy, and always trying to find a balance between supremely chaotic and Zen...I'll keep you posted on how that works out, but give me about 30 more years.

So I have so much to post and pictures, OMG the pictures from this summer...I figure I haven't really posted many since Memorial Weekend? Well unfortunately they are not going up tonight, I am too tired and using my teeny tiny bit of energy to sneak a post in. BTW - you may look at the post time and think "Vino Mommy, it's early...why are you tired?" and my answer to that is the time that shows up when I post my blog, does not actually coincide with the real time (i.e. CST). So anyways I digress...

It has been a busy, productive...scratch that...just busy summer. There has been softball, t-ball, tennis camp, weekends at the lake, sailing, a "Gadient Wedding" which is a feat in itself, shower, bacherlorette/bachelor party, Beyonce, picnic at the farm, work....(OMG - especially for Beer Daddy)...successful potty training, birthdays, no more training wheels, family visits and so much more...it's quite ridiculous and wonderful all at the same time.

So as I was running around tonight with Beer Daddy shuffling the kids to and from tennis camp and then home to eat dinner, which turned into a pit stop of cleaning the garage (I know freakin ridiculous how the man gets side tracked), to watering the plants, make dinner, do laundry, clean out the Mini from our weekend away, put crap away, bathe kiddos, brush teeth, blah, blah, blah...I thought of something..."In this world nothing is certain but death and taxes." - Benjamin Franklin.

Weird, I know...frankly I am not sure why it crossed my mind, but here's the thing Benny...I have a few more things I am completely and utterly certain of...

1. I will never be caught up with our laundry...ever.

2. Exhaustion is a part of Parenting that they down play...I will always be tired, even after a nap.

3. Chocolate & Vino are my vices...but in moderation they should not kill me...I hope.

4. Beer Daddy and I are late...pretty much always, timeliness is our kryptonite.

5. I never want my kids to grow up too fast, even at their worst...I really do cherish it all.

6. There is nothing sweeter than slowing down and experiencing life though the eyes of your child.

7. Family can be Friends and Friends can be Family.

8. Sometimes the truth really can hurt, no matter how hard you try to not let it.

9. I really did marry my Soul Mate.

10. I will always be forever wanting more time to write on my blog.

So there you go 10 Vino Mommy Truth's, they may not be yours, but they are most definitely mine. I may revisit this list as there is so much more that I am sure of but thought best to end this "renewal post" and keep you wanting more.

Until next time...

Parenting, it's not as easy as it looks...

...hard to believe that this Thursday I will be taking the Big Boy to "Kindergarten Roundup" i.e. registering him for school, meet the teachers, and get a sneak peek at what's in store for next fall.

I know I have said it before but I am simply amazed at how fast time has flown, I mean really how is it possible that 5 years have already passed since he was born? He is such a precocious little boy, who has been called an "old soul" more than once. He is a lover, a cuddler, but needs his space. He definitely knows what he wants and has no issue letting us know how he feels about something. He can not be forced, if he is not ready to sing a song, play a game, etc...he will not do it.

He is a processor, a thinker and me, I am doer. This can be a conflict at times, me being the Mom who wants him to do something on my time (get his shoes on, pick up a toy, take a picture...) and he of course not wanting to do this. I know this sounds like the classic parent/child conflict, but lately I feel like my fuse has been a little short. No need to call CPS...nothing bad, we aren't on a spanking rampage (and NO I am not berating those who choose to spank), I just realized that on at least 2 occasions this weekend I sort of snapped at my Big Boy for not doing what I asked him to and maybe just maybe it was a little more than what was necessary for the "crime".

I worry that I have been too hard on him and for goodness sakes he is only 5 and if I am this hard on him at 5 what will I be like when he is 10 or 15? So I shed some tears (NO, I am not PMS'ng) and BeerDaddy brought me back to reality that yes I may have snapped (we all have our moments) and lord knows between the funeral frenzy, Easter, and all that ensued last week I was a wee bit stressed, that I am still a good Mom.

I just don't want my boys to remember me as that Mom who was too tough or hard to please, because oh my god these boys mean the world to me. So I will forgive myself, as I am sure my little Rossman has for my little blurp in time where I wasn't the perfect Mommy and hope that he and Jack always know how much I love them. They are my sweet perfection that bring me so much joy and I know that there will be other moments, but hopefully I can learn a little something each time.

Like I said, this parenting thing...it's not as easy as it looks.